In love... yet again

Next thig you ought to know about me... I'll fall easy. That's it, I will fall in love so easy it's ridiculous. But thast's not the worst part of it. I tend to fall in love with straight guy who does not and will not love me back. It's just like the first lines in that movie "The Holiday":

"And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms."

So, yeah... I've suffered from that, and don't get me wrong, I've actually been loved back a couple of times, both disasters by the way, but never in this let's-get-married kind of way, and never by the people who should love me back.

Why am I telling you all of this, you might ask. Well, I've been fighting to fall out of love with this guy, this amazing person, the kind of guy I shouldn't be in love with. He's completely flawed in every way, cute in his very own way, very sarcastic, very funny, but overall... He is my best friend. 

I am so aware of his being straght, that's all he talks about, you know? And I know there's not a slightest chance for him to be gay. So I've decided to move on. The question's how am I gonna make it happen this time.